The Specialist Read online

  “I’m fine,” Payne said before they could ask. And it was sort of true. With the help of his good buddy Jim Beam, he’d discovered that he could actually numb himself into feeling absolutely fine. So far it was working out splendidly.

  The moment he started to miss Emma, to wonder if he’d done the right thing, if she’d ever forgive him, he merely hefted the bottle to his lips and miraculously, he’d begin to feel better. Honestly, Payne thought, as he strolled back to his recliner, he didn’t know why he saved getting drunk for nasty occasions.

  Guy snagged the remote control from the coffee table, then lowered himself onto Payne’s leather sofa and began to idly channel surf. Jamie, on the other hand, had chosen to stand.

  “Things went so badly that you have to drink?” Guy asked.

  Hell, that was obvious. Didn’t the guy see the friggin’ bottle in his hand? Payne felt a smile catch the corner of his mouth. Now that was precisely the sort of smart-assed remark Emma would have made.

  “Bad enough,” Payne told him, Emma’s hurt sugared-violet eyes flashing through his mind.

  “If it was that bad, then why the hell didn’t you call?” Jamie wanted to know. “We would have helped you.”

  Payne knew that and he appreciated it, but this was something no one could help him with. After a moment, he smiled without humor and told them so.

  Jamie and Guy shared another one of those concerned looks. “Is this an I-didn’t-complete-my-mission problem or a woman problem?”

  They’d find out eventually, so there was no point in lying about it. “A woman problem.”

  Guy swore. “Dammit, Payne, I warned you about her. What did she do?”

  Payne’s bleary gaze bored into his friend’s, silently warning him away from laying any blame at Emma’s door. “She didn’t do anything. She was great. I’m the problem.”

  Guy scowled. “I don’t understand. What do you mean, you’re the prob—”

  Jamie chuckled, and his knowing gaze sparked with instant knowledge only a guy who was also in love could recognize. “She thawed you,” he said, seemingly thunderstruck.

  “Thawed him?” Guy repeated, looking completely bewildered. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Are you blind?” Jamie countered, evidently thrilled that he’d figured it out. “He’s fallen for—”

  The phone rang, cutting Jamie off before he could finish the thought. Payne had set the answering machine to auto-answer so that he didn’t have to deal with any calls and grimaced when Garrett’s voice once again sounded through the little speakers. “Payne? Payne? If you’re there, pick up.” Silence then, “Fine. I’ll say what I’ve got to say here and we’ll consider this done. Emma Langsford delivered the pocketwatch to me this morning. She said you’d had something come up, and couldn’t—”

  Stunned, Payne scrambled for the phone. “What? What did you say?”

  “So you are there. Excellent,” Garrett said. “Emma delivered the pocketwatch to me this morning. I don’t know why you sent her, but in any case, well done.” His voice brimmed with delight. “I knew you wouldn’t fail me. I’ve wanted this piece forever and thanks to you, I’ve got it. I know that you think I’m a bit obsessed but…”

  No, he’d only failed her, Payne thought as Garrett continued to drone on into his ear. He’d doubted her. Why in God’s name had she taken Garrett the watch? Why hadn’t she given the bloody thing to Hastings and collected her reward? Had she lost her freakin’ mind? Payne wondered. What on earth would possess her to do something so reckless? So irresponsible? So noble?

  He reeled from the shock of her selflessness and his aching heart expanded painfully in his chest when the gravity of her sacrifice sunk in.

  She’d done this for him.

  Without even knowing why, Payne realized. Because he’d never told her about Danny’s death, about Garrett’s favor and his own screwed up connection between the two. She’d given him the benefit of the doubt and had had enough faith in him that she’d been willing to sacrifice her own happiness without knowing what would bring about his.

  He didn’t know when anything, if ever, had touched him more.

  “—at any rate, Major, I truly appreciate this. We’re even,” he said, and though it could have been simply wishful thinking on his part, Payne felt as though a choke hold had been taken off his neck.

  Debt paid. Honor intact. Mission accomplished.

  Only now he had one more. Payne stood. “Which one of you bastards is driving me to Marble Springs?”

  Guy blinked. “What’s in Marble Springs?” Jamie asked, gaping.

  With a resigned smirk, Guy fished his keys out of his front pocket. “It’s not what, but who,” he said, studying Payne as though seeing him for the first time. “I will,” he volunteered, “because this I’ve got to see.”

  Jamie scowled. “I want to go, too.”

  “Too bad. You have to stay here with your pregnant wife.”

  “She can come, too. Hell, she’s only pregnant. It’s not like she’s incapacitated.”

  “This is not a friggin’ soap opera,” Payne snapped. “This is my life.”

  Guy grinned. “You’re right. It’s better than a soap opera. We’ll wait in the car.”

  “YOU’RE USING way too many flowers,” Darcy snapped. “How many times do I have to tell you, Emma? More greenery, less flowers.” She rolled her eyes as though Emma was a complete idiot. “It’s basic economics.”

  No, it was cheap, Emma thought, biting her tongue. Darcy could hang on to more of her easily earned cash if she filled an arrangement full of less-expensive greenery and hoarded more flowers. Unfortunately, she had the market cornered in Marble Springs and people allowed her to get away with it.

  But Emma wasn’t here to debate Darcy’s poor business practices, she was here to work. Money was money and, if she ever wanted to start vet school, Emma needed it. Work was hard to find in her little hometown and she couldn’t afford to thumb her nose at the opportunity to make some cash just because the woman paying her was a certified bitch who delighted in making her feel like a second-class citizen.

  Welcome to my life, Emma thought, her lips sliding into a wry smile.

  Her mother had a hard time grasping this thought process, but oddly she hadn’t had a problem with Emma’s giving the pocketwatch to the wrong colonel and essentially flushing ten grand down the commode.

  That she’d understood.

  “I don’t know who this man is, honey, but I know if you’re willing to make this sort of sacrifice, he has to be worth it.”

  Evidently love was a universal language and any person who’d ever been in it recognized the dialect when they saw it.

  Emma had been glad that her mother understood, because frankly, she didn’t think she could have withstood the disappointment if she hadn’t. She felt like she was broken inside and the only thing holding her together was her skin.

  Hastings hadn’t been thrilled with the outcome either, but Emma had held her ground. Payne had found it first. He’d won. Hastings had roared and complained, but he’d been too honorable to demand his money back. The initial payment and expenses had never been contingent upon her winning—that had been her price to make the trip in the first place.

  And Garrett, of course, had been delighted. He’d been slightly confused by her arrival, but had ultimately been so beside himself for getting the watch that he hadn’t cared who’d delivered it. Emma had desperately wanted to ask him about Payne’s terms—what he stood to gain—but didn’t.

  In the end, it didn’t matter.

  Whatever his debt, it had been paid and Emma had insisted that Garrett let Payne know that. Not for her sake, but for his own.

  God, how she missed him. She ached so much that it hurt to breathe, and more than once over the past couple of days she’d considered calling him, but didn’t. If and when the time ever came that he wanted to see her, she was certain he’d let her know. The ball was squarely back in his court.
r />   Emma heard the bell above the door ring, indicating that a customer had walked into the store. She started forward, but Darcy shot her a quelling look. “You just keep working. I’ll get it.”

  The implication being that she was too stupid to wait on a customer. Emma gritted her teeth and imagined enrolling in school. That was the goal here, dammit. She could take a little abuse if it meant she’d ultimately have the life she wanted, the one she knew deep in her heart that she deserved.

  “Well, good afternoon,” Darcy said, and Emma recognized it as her there’s-a-good-looking-man-in-my-store kind of voice. God, the woman was such a bitch, Emma thought with a mental eyeroll.

  “I’m looking for Emma Langsford.”

  Payne? she thought faintly.

  “Emma?” Darcy asked, as though she couldn’t quite believe that Payne would be looking for her.

  “Her mother said I’d find her here.”

  Seemingly drawn forward by the mere sound of his voice, Emma walked out of the back room and paused at the door. Her silly heart lightened and her palms tingled.

  Payne’s gaze instantly found hers. Those wintry blue eyes were a bit bloodshot and tortured, and she watched a relieved sigh leak from his lips. It was gut-wrenching. “Hiding from me again, I see. I thought I warned you about that.”

  Emma moved cautiously forward. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came for you,” he said simply.

  Darcy’s wide-eyed gaze bounced between them, but Emma ignored her.

  “For me?”

  Payne cast a hesitant glance at Darcy, then his gaze tangled with hers once more. “Is there somewhere we can talk?”

  “She’s working right now,” Darcy piped up, smirking spitefully. “You’ll have to talk to her on your own time, I’m afraid.”

  Payne turned the full force of his frosty displeasure upon Darcy and she actually backed up a step. “This is my own time,” he told her. “And I didn’t spend the last six hours in the car listening to my friends torment me for falling in love—and having to stop half a dozen times to accommodate a pregnant woman whose bladder has shrunk to the size of a pea—merely to be turned away by you. I’m talking to her now. She quits.”

  “What?” Emma asked, startled by the whole falling-in-love comment. And she quits? she thought faintly, reeling. What the hell was he doing?

  “You’re not working for her anymore. Get your things. We’re leaving.”

  “Payne—”

  “Get them,” he repeated.

  Of all the high-handed nerve, Emma thought, but couldn’t muster any proper outrage. Only an idiot would find Payne’s bossy nature on her behalf so damned thrilling, but she did. Her heart did a little loop-de-loop. Truth be told, she was damned turned on, as well. Emma hurried to the back, got her purse, then turned and shot Darcy a self-satisfied smile as Payne held the door open for her.

  The look on Darcy’s face was priceless.

  “Do you want that store?” Payne asked the instant they were outside.

  “What?”

  “Do you want it? I’ll buy it in a heartbeat and put her wicked ass to work for you. God, your mother was right. She is a bitch.” He glared at her. “How could you take the damned pocketwatch to Garrett and come back to this?” he demanded. “I left it for you so that you wouldn’t have to.”

  “What?” Emma retorted. “Think you’ve got the market cornered on nobility? You needed it more than I did.”

  “What on earth made you think that?” Payne demanded.

  “You did.”

  He blinked. “What? How?”

  “Payne, I knew it had to be important to you. You don’t do anything without a purpose and when I saw all the trouble you’d gone through—all the money you were willing to let go of—simply to be able to hand that watch over to Garrett, I knew it had to be something…significant.” She swallowed, huddled deeper into her jacket. “You weren’t doing it for the money. Something else had driven you and even though you never told me, it didn’t make it any less important.”

  Payne looked away and a muscle jumped in his tense jaw. “When Danny died, I wanted out of the military,” he said. “I didn’t care what the cost, I just wanted out. Needed to be out.”

  Emma nodded. “I can see that,” she said, aching for him. His pain was palpable, rolling off him in waves that were washing over her and pulling her closer to him.

  “Garrett made that happen, and all he asked for in return was a favor.” He laughed bitterly. “It was the last tie, you see? The final thing left on my to-do list…and then it would be over. I could fulfill the obligation and start working on my own guilt.”

  Emma’s chest tightened. “Payne,” she said, cradling his dear face into her hands. “You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

  He closed his eyes. “My tactics are what got my friend killed, Emma. I failed and he paid the ultimate price.”

  Sweet God, she hadn’t expected this. Guilt had eroded that legendary logic. “I don’t know what happened on this mission. I don’t know why your friend died. But I do know you, Payne, and I know that you are The Specialist. The chances of you making a mistake that would have purposely cost your friend his life—would have put his life in any more danger than you and the rest of your unit—are slim to none. Did you do everything to the best of your ability?”

  He nodded. “Wasn’t good enough.”

  “Was the mission a success?”

  “Yes.”

  “Was it worthy?”

  He swallowed, nodded.

  “Then you didn’t fail. You just lost a friend in the process.”

  Payne’s wintry blue gaze caught and held hers and the intensity she saw there made her breath catch. “I can’t lose you. It would—I can’t—I’m in love with you, Emma.”

  Emma’s eyes watered and a light winging sensation took flight in her chest. “I love you, too.”

  “Kiss her already!”

  Startled, Emma glanced at the big SUV parked at the curb. Guy McCann, Jamie Flanagan and a petite dark-haired woman—Jamie’s wife, she imagined—were all watching them avidly from the comfort of the warm car. “Shut up,” Payne yelled back, exasperated.

  He lifted her straight off the pavement, then planted a long, slow kiss on her lips. A tightly braided strand of longing, love and desire wound its way through her and a giddy laugh bubbled up her throat.

  “Don’t ever leave me again,” Payne growled, smiling softly. “It’s insulting.”

  Epilogue

  “HOW WAS SCHOOL?” Payne called from the kitchen.

  Emma hung her backpack on the peg next to the door and followed the scent of marinated vegetables and grilled chicken. The Tower—her new home—was equipped with top-of-the-line equipment and she imagined she was one of the only students in her class who got to come home to a fabulous meal cooked by a badass former Ranger…in a Kiss the Cook apron.

  She chuckled and shook her head. “Where did you get that?” Emma asked.

  “Where do you think? Your mother sent it.”

  Emma chuckled. “She’s grateful.” In addition to paying off the mortgage, Payne had bought This Bud’s For You and put Darcy Marcus to work for her mother. Needless to say, Lena was thrilled. It’s what her mother liked to refer to as poetic justice. Emma was just thankful.

  “You’ve fixed a lot,” she commented, noting there was enough food to feed an army, or at least a small former part of one.

  “Guy, Jamie and Audrey are coming up. Jamie and Audrey are down from Maine. They flew in this morning. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Emma shook her head. “Not at all.” She sidled forward and slid her arms around Payne’s waist. She pressed a kiss against his chest.

  “What are you doing?”

  “What the apron says.”

  Payne growled low in his throat, bent his head and found her mouth. Fire licked through her veins and a bubble of desire burst in her belly, sending whorls of heat swirling through her.

  “
Geez, don’t you guys ever stop?” Guy remarked, strolling in.

  Emma chuckled and Payne shot his friend an annoyed look. “Don’t you ever knock?”

  “I did.” He smiled, rather weakly. “Evidently when your fiancée puts her tongue in your mouth, you go deaf.”

  “It’s a talent,” Emma told him. “Maybe someday you’ll find a girl who can make you go deaf, as well.”

  Guy rolled his eyes, grimaced. “Let’s hope not.”

  Payne studied his friend. “You’re in an uncommonly foul mood. What’s wrong?”

  Guy collapsed onto the couch, tilted his head back and sighed. “I just got off the phone with Garrett. It’s my turn.”

  Payne stilled. “What does he want?”

  Guy shot Payne a droll look. “He wants me to do a special trust-building session for special forces teams at Fort Benning in a couple of weeks,” he drawled.

  Emma looked at Payne to gauge his response. “So it’s not as bad as you thought, then.”

  Guy looked up and his unreadable troubled gaze connected with Payne’s. “You think?”

  “You’re not guarding a granddaughter or going on a treasure hunt,” Payne said, shrugging as though he didn’t follow.

  “No.” He smirked. “I’m just going back into the military.” He said it as though it were the equivalent of a death sentence.

  A look of communication passed between them, then understanding dawned and Emma inwardly winced for Guy. She cast Payne a sympathetic glance and he squeezed her fingers.

  Garrett might have sentenced Jamie to an unethical errand, Payne to a degrading one, but he was sending Guy McCann right back into the very place he’d never wanted to be again—the military…and his own personal hell.

  There’s only one bachelor left…

  and he’s about to meet his downfall.

  Don’t miss THE MAVERICK,

  available next month wherever

  Harlequin books are sold.

  ISBN: 1-55254-586-5

  THE SPECIALIST